December 2017 Wrap Up and Goals for 2018

11 days into the new year. It feels like it has been forever already – and it certainly has not been without surprises.

I rang in the new year at my beloved home bar, Sidewinders, with drag queens and Andrew Christian underwear models. It was a joyous moment, and certainly a memory that will stand out in my mind for a long time.

My roommate won the New Mexico Gay Rodeo Association title of Mr. NMGRA 2018 1st Runner Up in December. I am so freaking proud of him, and he has already begun working on fundraising and various goals for his title year. He has asked me to help be his fundraiser coordinator, and I hope I am up to the task.

On a different note, my darling wife and I celebrated our one year wedding anniversary, and I marked two years on hormones, along with three years with my name legally changed. I don’t think I would be where I am without the support of my wife. She is definitely the best thing that has ever happened to me.

In the last part of December, I was without my mental health meds for a week and a half as I had to change insurances in order to stay with my current providers which include my endocrinologist. That was a rough time, as it was during the holidays. Suffice to say, I managed, and found someone who was able to prescribe me a temporary dose so I could be mostly functioning again.

This brings me to my goal list for 2018. I certainly like the word goals better than resolutions, as that has a slightly defeatist tone to me.

  1. Blog at least once a month. I have discovered that I really enjoy blogging, as I always have, but that it is also a way for me to express myself creatively. I know I haven’t been very good at keeping things updated, but I am going to try.
  2. Be more open about my mental illness. I was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder when I was six years old, Depression at age 13, and Anxiety when I was 25. I am on medication that helps me function, but there are days that I can barely get out of bed. I want to blog more about those days, and be open about what happens. Maybe my story can help someone else out there.
  3. Upload more YouTube content.  YouTube is something that I enjoy a lot. I want to do more things with my channel and make the content I want to make while still trying some new things. My wife and I also started up a joint channel, and I am excited to see where that will go.
  4. Eat better. This one has been majorly hard for me. I talked about eating right in a previous blog entry, but then I fell off the wagon, again. It is difficult, when you have a lower income, to eat right, even with food stamps. That’s why I have been considering either going pescatarian or vegetarian. More research is needed, of course, but we’ll see.
  5. Stay organized! I will talk about this more in another entry, but I have begun using the bullet journal method, and I have to say that I love it. It is so dang useful! Its my planner, journal, record keeper and more all in one package! I spurred and bought some gel pens, which make it more fun to write stuff in it in various colors. I have also begun using color coding, and make sure to write down everything I can or record it in my phone so I don’t miss anything. So far it has stuck!
  6. Pay attention to my physical health. I got really sick after Thanksgiving, and it was miserable. Now that I am mostly cured (still coughing with a little congestion) I will be getting my flu shot for the first time in a couple of years, and making sure I pay attention when my body says to slow down.
  7. Finish a new manuscript. This one has been something that has haunted me since I graduated college. I have a whole bunch of writing on a hard drive that is currently un-accessible, and I keep using that as an excuse to not write anything new. Well, I want to write, and I will keep trying to write, even if that means I shut myself in the bedroom for a few days while trying to work.
  8. Find a part time job. As much as I enjoy being self-employed, we need a little more money around here to survive. I am getting back into the swing of job hunting, and have just completed alcohol server training for the state of New Mexico. Hopefully that will help.
  9. Try new performance style and artforms. I am really wanting to branch out of drag. I performed in my first burlesque show last September, and I really want to do more. I would also like to do some theater acting again, and try stand up comedy. Hopefully, there will be opportunities for me to do so.
  10. Be a better husband, son, brother and friend. This one is really important to me. All of these goals ultimately add up to this point. By taking care of me, I can take care of others and be a better person all around.

Pretty decent start to a list, if you ask me. I hope all of you have had a safe and awesome start to your new year. Keep on smiling!

Not Too Bad Around Here

Here I am, sitting here at the computer listening to a podcast while drinking my now cold coffee and wondering what the hell I have done to end up in a place like this.

To be fair, I am pretty content.

I am excited about running my own business, even if I am just getting started and can’t afford to own my domain just yet so I can post stuff to sell (working on it – slowly).

Beth has a job working for a friend’s massage business, and that’s helping keep our heads above the water. This also means we can afford things like toilet paper, and underwear and gas.

After a long and intense situation with Income Support, we have our food stamps and insurance, which means we can eat, and we can afford medication (at least for now until Cheeto Head possibly screws it all up).

My sister came to visit two weeks ago and we had a grand old time – we even filmed some YouTube videos for her channel and mine, which I am in the process of working on.

I decided to be a masochist, and on top of blogging and YouTube decided to try my hand at podcasts, which I have loving dubbed “The Bitter English Major”. It’s going to be about books and writing and everything that goes with it. I need to invest in a nicer microphone, but that should be up and running soon. Once I try not to explode.

And I have a new book in the works. A themed poetry collection. I hope people like it.

On the other hand, I have been really struggling with depression, anxiety and dysphoria recently. Beth and I have had a few rough patches, though its nothing we haven’t been able to work through.

Also I have been having trouble with joint pain. Yesterday it was so bad I spent most of the day on the couch, unable to do much but watch TV and sleep. I am going to be contacting my new doctor this week to see if I can get in for a follow-up and maybe find out what’s wrong with me. At the moment the Ibuprofen is wearing off and I feel kinda awful.

But I’m still trucking along. As my buddy Cameron says, “If I’m bitchin’ I’m breathing.”

Thanks for reading today y’all. I appreciate it. If you like what you see, drop a comment, and if you’re so inclined, drop me a donation. You’ll notice I got a new button, and it’s awesome.